where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i wish my penis had a tongue
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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