i jhust puked up my retainher.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
