Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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