I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
