Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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