That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
