Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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