I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
