The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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