YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
