He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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