she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
