Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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