Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
