My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
My ATM looks so different sober.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
