He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
