I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
