Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
