Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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