Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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