You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
