My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
