Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
