So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
So apparently I’m into choking now
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