finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
