I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
