Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
