Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
