hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
