i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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