think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
