somebody snuck up and got me drunk
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
you never un-have a 4some
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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