i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
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