I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Apparently you make a good broom.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
