She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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