Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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