I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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