I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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