Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
