We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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