Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
