I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
