That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
