thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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