i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
