Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
