okay pat passed out under dana's car
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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