I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
