I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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