Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
