my mouth tastes like poor choices
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
