well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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