i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
