nutella sex= disaster
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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