i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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