Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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