You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
