end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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