I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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